when I was diagnose in 2005 I though my Life was over.  How was I going to tell the people in my life that I was positive.  How was I going to tell my children.  Wow!  I was in a bad marriage.  My husband was in Jail when I found out.  But I had been sick for a while.  He was a man that played around and I had a past too.  So how I got and who from is left in question.  I wasn’t really trying to ask who did it.  I was more concerned about living.  Was I going to live and how long.  Was this the end?  And what about my babies.  I clocked out.  Went into a serious depression and just checked out.  My life was going but I was not apart of it.  I felt low.  I had a ignorant mother in law who said she sat on my toilet she used my tub.  She was ignant. But that didn’t start with the HIV diagnoses she was ignorant way before then. But that’s another story. I was ended up divorce and not because of HIV, but because that was necessary to my survival.  I was struggling with my self esteem and what to do with myself. Why is this apart of my story.  But I had to take responsibility for me or I was not going to be around to see my grandchildren.  I got to the clinic attend the HIV 101 Class and learned what this would mean for my body.  Found out that is a virus that attacks my immune system.  Realizing that it was not what my fears and propaganda had taught me it was.  I loved my Clinic and the doctors that gathered around me not just to evaluate me but to make sure my mind and spirit was healing as well. I began to realize that I have a decision to make.  Was I going to live are die.  I made the decision to live.  I pressed through the STIGMA and found me a crowd of FOLks that wanted me to live too. And I began to build myself up.  I got even closer to God.  He made this flesh suit to house my soul. So what better way to ensure Long life than to go back to the manufacturer.  I am still going.  Falling short sometimes but still going. Singing, writing, living!  That’s that the choice that I made. And you can too.  It is the end of a world, but truly the beginning of another.  The one where you become your own hero!

There is life after HIV

Did i chose to be positive.  Many people have there answers for this.  Some say a lifestyle brought you to this place.  But who really know the whys of the whys.

I just want to talk about rejection and how I feel about it.  You are the perfect person if you were not positive. You are beautiful. You are awesome. I love you. But I can’t take a chance on getting THAT!  Crazy thing about it is that I am not mad. I could go into a long drawn out explaination of what HIV is and is not but who cares really.  I am to the point to where I don’t even want love anymore.  I don’t want to be bother and most would say that is the best way to be. Considering the way your immune system is set up.  I use to be in the fight to educate and bring awareness.  But the journey just bringing people into a place of knowledge still means I have to dig through all the garbage of THE STIGMA to get to 1 or 2 people that may want to hear the truth.  And that may only be because some one in the family or a friend is dealing with or have died from the Complication of AIDS. HIV the Virus the leads to AIDS.  A compromised immune system.  You are more of a treat to me than I am to you. But it’s to much for you to learn.  When you meet someone you genuinely like and they tell you “I am HIV POSITIVE”  The future escapes you and you now have been saved from a waterfall. The individual that is positive no longer has a brain, likes or dislikes, hobbies or passion, and their existence is  void. Now only three things Stand H…I…V!

The :Life of A HIV er

I love American Crime this is apart of my twitter life.

Louisiana st.

Riding down Lousiana st. In Downtown Houston