So thia weekend has been awesome. Sitting here watching last weeks game of thrones before the new episode starts. I really can say that I have been thinking about my life. I am 42 now. What to do with it.
Well went to see avengers endgame. It was 👍 good! Almost to the end and the sound goes out. Dolby Sound! Silence!
The people went crazy. Shouting “refund” “Awe Come on, Really”…
I took that moment to use the restroom. It was hilarious. People were shouting “rewind”! Thank God for civil people. Could have been a riot.
After embarking on a new journey with marriage. After a long trial and era period in my life I am starting to see the sun. I wonder sometimes is this the end for me. Is this that final hurrah? Lately I have been watching others and going through the motions of what I am suppose to love to do. Taking care of the home, loving my children unconditionally, and smiling when life hurts. When all the while I don’t know sometimes if this is even my life anymore. I literally serve a man, no complaints on that but I didn’t think at this part of my life I would be doing this. I have done this already. Sad though cause I am not even concerned if he appreciates it or not. I have joined families through marriage and have not be accepted by any of them. Always had to have to husband to defend me. I am just to the point with that to where it really don’t matter. Caught up with how to live the rest if this life out. Funny because when he starts yelling at me about not cleaning the kitchen or simple stuff I don’t feel nothing. I am talking about like it is another lifetime. Or I am stuck on repeat. Crazy Huh! But I love him. I guess my right now was suppose to be out enjoying life. Not worrying about dishes, children, non of that. Traveling, seeing things I missed out on. Not battling with stress.
My ankles were swollen for 2️⃣ weeks. That was new. Been so consumed with someone else’s schedule til I had stop watching me.
I just feel like talking about my clinic! When I first started going to my clinic it was strictly an HIV clinic. Privacy! Now its for everyone! So that means less attention for HIVer’s! The importance is less! Where they keep you current with meds, appointments, and health coverage, we now fall throw the cracks. It took so long for them to help me get my stuff together with the state. Did I mention they let me get dropped from the state and then forgot bout me for the pharmaceutical coverage. I desired the support group. We use to meet us ladies and talk through some things. Now the meeting room is filled with desk! I am all for enlargement as far as the clinic itself but don’t forget about us! Well maybe its just too late for that. But I still refuse to go to the city. I can say that I am still here and glad about it. Regardless of my issues with care!
Salvation After HIV/AIDS 