Compelled to write.
After embarking on a new journey with marriage. After a long trial and era period in my life I am starting to see the sun. I wonder sometimes is this the end for me. Is this that final hurrah? Lately I have been watching others and going through the motions of what I am suppose to love to do. Taking care of the home, loving my children unconditionally, and smiling when life hurts. When all the while I don’t know sometimes if this is even my life anymore. I literally serve a man, no complaints on that but I didn’t think at this part of my life I would be doing this. I have done this already. Sad though cause I am not even concerned if he appreciates it or not. I have joined families through marriage and have not be accepted by any of them. Always had to have to husband to defend me. I am just to the point with that to where it really don’t matter. Caught up with how to live the rest if this life out. Funny because when he starts yelling at me about not cleaning the kitchen or simple stuff I don’t feel nothing. I am talking about like it is another lifetime. Or I am stuck on repeat. Crazy Huh! But I love him. I guess my right now was suppose to be out enjoying life. Not worrying about dishes, children, non of that. Traveling, seeing things I missed out on. Not battling with stress.
My ankles were swollen for 2️⃣ weeks. That was new. Been so consumed with someone else’s schedule til I had stop watching me.
To be Con’t…