Up late… One of those Nights

Ok.  I am up because I am thinking about dating.  I need to get my love life together.  For real.  Couple of people are flirting but I have just avoided it I think!  Whats holding me back.  I know some nights I am stuck looking at the ceiling saying 🆗 what now. Bet-not call an EX. We definately don’t want to start that mess up.  Listen  a texted chimed in at midnight a couple of weeks ago.  Something told me to stay sleep,  ignore it,  don’t look at the screen.  Well you know I am rebellious.  Looked at it. “How you doing” why I felt compelled to asked who this was, had to solely be a case of “the lonelies”. The person responds. Don’t worry about who it is. How are you?  I thought it to be no problem to endulge a bit.  I should have turned the ringer off and went to sleep.  Laughing to myself!  But no!  I had to go all the way with it.  After this 5min. text trivia my god I started to realize the trap my loneliness had set for me.  I was talking to a guy that high jacked my Thanksgiving, crashed my Christmas and was on the phone with his male best friend when the new year came in.  Then dumped me for his momma when he got a new job @the olive garden. I ain’t hating on his hustle but his relationship game is weak and feeble.  To top it off made sure we were broken up by my birthday and Valentine’s. He didn’t deserve an emoji let alone a “who is this!  Straight madness!  

Well,  I don’t what I am waiting on for the dating thing.  My oldest son kinda shook me up of the Cougar adventure. Yes he was young. I will tell that story one day.  My son said let someone prove themselves. Prove they want you,  earn your attention. Every since then I have just sat down some where and I think I have honestly lost a little hope in the love department. 

But you never know God could do it again!  After all I have been through just to still be able to want to love somebody says alot.  

Love

#salvationafterhiv 

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