Things Change

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Good Morning! Up at 3am can’t sleep. Things on my mind. I was listening to Alabama Shakes yesterday! “Don’t wanna fight no more.” This song has changed my life. Truth! Not giving up but accepting life myself my identity. I have been through about three life times of Junk. Just trying to be accepted. Well I accept my self. Tired of if I live right I will be accepted. If I deny myself some basic human desires, I will be accepted. Well who the hell cares. I am breathing! I am peculiar. There’s nothing I can do about it. There’s not a marriage a man a friend an aquaintaince that can fix me. I am me. I don’t need to be fixed because I am not broken. This world I have lived in has kept power over me through the belief that we are all broken and will always need to be fixed. But I found out that we all are a work that needs to be finished. But you can’t be if you are stuck on being broken!

Why do we fight who we are and call it strength? Why do we reject our selves and call it disciple? I am done.

My hair is thinning from medications. Big time on the sides. So I cut it off. Literally took the clippers and shaved it off . It was the best moment of my life. I have decided to use the same concept for my life. Get rid of everything till I get to the truth. Cut off ever thing that has already left. Everything that I really don’t need. Everything that is barely hanging on! Truly breathe!

I am in discovery! What’s underneath all that?!

I see a lot of people today that have no idea who they are but are seeking validation through works and its sad. Satisfaction for them will never come. Contentment will never come. Real joy will never come. Disappointment will always have it appointed time to show up. Its inevitable. It’s a friend.

My joy and contentment came from my spouse, they died divorce, cheated, were annulled. My children grew up, and I was right back to just me. I’m reaching inside and ripping her weak behind out of the shadows and celebrating her many existence! Who cares? I care! Not to impress others, but to make sure I am me till the day its time for me to go!

Things change!

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